Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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