a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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