he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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