I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
