fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
