God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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