i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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