I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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