Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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