I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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