I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
