they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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