yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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