Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
