just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
