at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
