I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
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make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize