I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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