I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
