i already hear my dad disowning me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
