If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize