Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
