they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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