why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
