'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
