Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
