I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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