sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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