called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
