Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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