They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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