She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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