She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
