seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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