Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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