It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
