i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
