piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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