I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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