maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
