You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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