saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
