Yo dont text me then not text me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
