I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize