i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
