I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
