No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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