Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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