I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
