i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
