her vagine was all disorganized.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
