My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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