I'm laying in your front yard are you home
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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