please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
