I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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