so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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