They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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