Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
