Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
