I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
50% drunk capacity currently
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
