There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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