Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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