it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
