He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
