if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize