dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
