Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
