I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Michael Bay diarrhea
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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